I woke up this morning at 7am and felt like someone was smothering me. I could not breathe. I started grabbing Ian to wake him up and he was scrambling to get my oxygen on me. When I checked my oxygen, it was 68. It should be above 92. I went to my sisters last night and when I got home, I told Ian that it was the best I have felt in a while. Then I wake up to this. It scared me to death. I have tried all day to get off the oxygen and as soon as I take it off, it falls quickly. I will call the doctor tomorrow and see what she says. But, I am very discouraged. I did not want to have to be on this oxygen ever again. I don't know if it's fluid again or if I have an infection because I am still running a fever. I am praying that it is not fluid and maybe I just need a stronger antibiotic. Please pray that it is nothing too serious. I am anxious to know what is wrong. I feel like I take one step forward and two steps back.

Still running a fever today. The doctor said to give the antibiotic another 24hrs. or the fever may be a side effect of the chemo. I remember running a fever for 21 days straight the first time I went through chemo. They tested me for everything, ended up pulling my port out and canceling my last two treatments of chemo. Nothing ever showed up positive for any kind of infection. So, it may be a side effect of chemo. In any case, it's not fun. The fever makes me feel like I have the flu and keeps me in bed. I'm tired of being sick! My mouth sores have on the other hand gotten much better, and I am able to eat now. My mom asked them on Tuesday if they had ever had patients with sores this bad and they said no, this was the worse case. I seem to react violently to chemotherapy. I have never had a strong immune system, and I'm beginning to think that has alot to do with how I tolerate chemo. I'm trying to hang in there, but sometimes it just seems so hard. Ian is trying to keep me positive and my head up. That's a big job for him right now. Maybe you should be praying for him instead. Anyways, that's whats going on now. Hopefully, the fever will go away soon and I will start to feel better soon.

No chemo today! I woke up with a fever of 101.8 and could barely get dressed. It was all I could do to get my clothes on to get to the doctors office. They tested me for everything under the sun and decided that I was too sick to get chemo today. They gave me IV antibiotics, lots of fluids for dehydration and of course my Herceptin. They sent me home on antibiotics and medicine for the sores in my mouth. They are actually a little better today and I was able to eat a little food. Hopefully they will continue to get better and not come back. Now hopefully I will feel better soon and have another week to recover.

Running a fever today and still can't eat because of the sores in my mouth. I am scheduled for chemo tomorrow and I am very anxious about getting it. I just don't feel like I am strong enough to take another hit yet. Please pray for strength and healing to get me through this week. This is my last week home with my kids before school starts and was hoping I would feel better. Praying that the days will get better as the week goes on.

I went to Palm Beach Gardens Hospital yesterday to have my port checked and unfortunetly, it had a leak in it. This meant I would have to have this one removed and a new one put in. Fortunetly, since I work there, we pulled some strings and got one of the surgeons to take care of it for me while I was there instead of having to come back for another hospital visit. So, Dr. Faro took me to surgery and replaced my port and also took out the tube in my chest. I got a two for one. Instead of having to go back in the hospital next Friday to have the tube out, he said he would just do it for me now and eliminate that visit. So, I now have no tube in my lung and I am hopefully done with hospital visits for a while. My mouth is still in very bad shape from the chemo. I am trying some new medicine that we picked up yesterday, but have not seen any results yet. Please pray for healing in my mouth so that I can eat. As of right now, everything burns and I can hardly eat food period.

I saw the surgeon today and he said my lungs look good and I am getting the tube taken out next Friday. The tube is in my right lung and the fluid is gone there. There is still a small amount of fluid in the left lung, but not enough to put a tube in. It has stayed the same amount and will hopefully go away as it responds to chemotherapy. I will be happy to have this out. He was surprised that I never drained much fluid after he put it in. I was having it drained once a week and getting over a liter of fluid. Then he puts the tube in and it stops. I think it was a God thing! The sores in my mouth are so bad today that it has been difficult to eat or drink. Tomorrow I am sampling a brand new medication for this to see if it will work. It is for severe mouth sores from chemotherapy. Everything I eat burns all the way down my esophagus. Unfortunately,this is the main side effect of this chemo. Please pray for my mouth to heal and not be so painful. I am also having a study done on my port tomorrow. It is not working properly and I need if for the chemo. I can only use the veins in my left arm and they will not last through chemo. It will burn them and then I'm in trouble. Please pray that they will be able to fix the problem tomorrow and not to have any kind of surgery.

Chemo went pretty well yesterday. I saw Dr. McKeen after treatment and tried to get alot of things squared away. She changed alot of my medication and started me on new things to help with the side effects. She put me on a appetite enhancer and hopefully this will all help. My mouth is what is so painful right now. I can hardly swallow anything for the sores and it's just raw skin. I can't taste anything, which makes eating not even enjoyable. And I love food! Jamie brought me home from chemo and I slept for a little bit. Woke up feeling weak, but not nauseous. Later last night I started to feel the best I have in a while as far as my body goes. No aching and all that. I did not sleep again last night, which still seems to be an issue, but I'm feeling ok so far today. Just pray that my mouth gets better and I am able to get food down. I need nutrition to get my strength back and that is a real battle for me right now. I also got my CT scan results. My lungs looked very good, the cancer had not progressed any further in my lungs. It seemed to stay the same. But, she said that was to be expected until I get more chemo. The fluid around my heart seemed to be a little less as well. She also measured the tumor in my breast and it is down another inch from last week. So, every little thing I hold on to and take it one day at a time. I'm thankful for good news this week. I see the surgeon tomorrow about the tube in my lung. It is still not draining anything, so hopefully I will be able to get it out. Keep the prayers coming and I ask for strength to keep my head up. I've been struggling with being sick for so long and trying to remain positive. I am also having self esteem issues. My hair is on it's way out and I am trying to hold on as long as possible. My sisters say it's not as bad as I think, but I just don't look like myself anymore. I have lost so much weight and I just don't feel like me anymore. It is hard to look in the mirror at times. This is just another level to this disease and I will work through it. I did the first time, it just takes some time. The Lord has fearfully and wonderfully made me, Right?